When omissions speak louder than words
Alison Bert on April 6th, 2007 | Filed under Music, Guitar, Spirituality, Judaism
I left something important off my to-do list.
Practice guitar
Aside from 34. Recharge iPod, I didn’t list anything to do with music. An oversight? Not likely. Classical guitar is what I did for the majority of my life and career.
Actually I haven’t touched my guitar all year, even though my New Year’s resolution was to give a benefit concert.
And I haven’t missed it, or so I tell myself. But often I dream that I have a big audition the next day and I can’t possibly master the music in time. Or I’m seated on stage cradling my instrument, but I can’t remember any of the music. I have the sinking feeling of a lost opportunity.
Somewhere along the line, somewhere early on in my studies, I came to equate virtuosity with success. Perhaps success became too important. And somehow music became a chore. So it’s not surprising that I forgot to put it on my to-do list, which is filled with more urgent tasks, like doing dishes and taxes and laundry.
But I had a change of heart Friday evening when I went to the Shabbat service at Westchester Reform Temple in Scarsdale. I don’t go to services often, and I hadn’t even been to a Passover Seder this year. Lately the demands of work, and my desire to do my own writing at home, have left me too exhausted to pursue things outside my routine. But I decided it was time to come out of my self-imposed state of solitariness, and the services there have always been meaningful.
This one was led by Jonathan Blake, the 30-ish wise-beyond-his-years associate rabbi. He sings and plays guitar with an ease and grace that comes from living with the music and its message for a very long time. And from inspiration. His sermons are conversations that make scripture come alive, that make it matter.
Then there was the guest cantor, Dan Sklar, a truly talented tenor. He sang intricate settings of the prayers with a fluidity and precision gained from years of classical training. I could tell, because that’s the kind of musician I was. Am.
During the Kaddish, I thought about Cantor Stephen Merkel, a passionate artist who refused to allow me to play mechanically, who, in our brief rehearsals, forced me to wake up as a musician.
So as Rabbi Blake talked about Passover and the images of spring and renewal it embraces, I knew it was time to wake up. Time to return to the discipline that made music, and life, joyful and meaningful.
April 7th, 2007 at 10:13 am
Absolutely! You have invested a considerable part of your life in music. It must be maintained and advanced.
I have gone through long periods of neglect, myself, and bitterly regret it. So for many years, I have made certain that I practice an hour or hour and half a day. Even a half hour is good. I found that necessity is often the most compelling force in getting it done so I do book myself to regular obligations that keep the fire hot enough to avoid embarassment.
Also, and you might find this useful, I have kept my interests alive by changing styles. For the last 5 years, I have spent a considerable amount of time studying gospel music from the 20’s and 30’s and 40’s. Also, piano jazz studies with emphasis on theory. Think Bill Evans, Oscar Peterson and Art Tatum. And I have somewhat mastered Sibelius (the score-writing program) and now I write arrangements and original material for church and other purposes.
I also forced myself to dive into a part of the literature that I had previously greatly disliked….romantic and 20th Century French. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking so many years ago. Now I love it and can’t wait to dig into a new piece.
Just some ideas for keeping it fresh and alive.
……
April 7th, 2007 at 10:48 am
I am humbly, deeply, sincerely flattered by your warm good wishes here and in your blog. When I get around to updating mine again soon, I’ll reciprocate with a link to yours!
All the best for a sweet and meaningful Pesach, which sounds like it’s already well under way for you!
Yours,
Jonathan