I wasn’t going to light the candles tonight …
Alison Bert on December 4th, 2007 | Filed under Family, Spirituality, Judaism
When I left the office today, I could hardly wait to get home and eat dinner. In the lobby, I caught a glimpse of the electric menorah, and I was impressed that someone remembered to twist two of the bulbs to signify the first night of Chanukah. I thought about lighting the candles when I got home, but it would be late and I was tired. I’ll wait until the next night, or the one after, I figured. There are eight nights, after all.
Walking to Grand Central, I saw two young Chassidic men in wide-brim black hats standing on the corner. “Happy Chanukah,” one of them said to me, and I returned the greeting.
They asked me if I had a way to light the candles. One of them held a box, which held the gold-colored tin menorahs that Chassidic Jews give to non-observant Jews. I know. I used to have one. My first menorah as an adult. It was given to me by Rabbi Rappaport, the Chabad-Lubavitcher rabbi at Syracuse University. Since then, I upgraded, fearing that light-weight metal could pose a fire hazard.
I told them I have a menorah. “But I’m going to be home late,” I added. “It’s not too late?” I know enough about the Jewish religion to know that there are strict laws about when lights can be lit and flames can be kindled.
“No, it’s not too late,” one of them said.
They smiled, seeming pleased that they encouraged one more Jew to observe the age-old Festival of Lights. I smiled back but wondered why it really mattered to them that I light the candles.
As I peered at the stone and glass buildings that tower over Park Avenue, there was no hint of Chanukah in sight. I decided to light the candles as soon as I got home.
I took a cardboard box labeled HANUKKAH down from the cupboard above my fridge. There were plenty of candles left over from the last Hanukkah. I unfolded a page with the prayers printed in transliterated Hebrew, the paper starting to yellow. I once learned to read real Hebrew as an adult but have since forgotten. I turned the page over and saw that it was a letter by Rabbi Daniel Jezer to his congregation in Syracuse. I recalled how, on my few visits to his shul, he would give a real-life meaning to the age-old rituals of judaism. And so he did in this letter.
On the tradition of adding one more candle to the menorah each night, he wrote, “We all want the future to be better than the present. The increasing lights teach us that it can be. And even if we are enveloped by the darkness of the day, the light can increase, and our lives be far brighter.”
That was a few years before his house burned down. He and his wife escaped unharmed. But as I prepared to strike the match, I couldn’t help wondering whether he still felt the optimism he once preached, whether his faith helped him hold onto it.
Rabbi Jezer always seemed to see the universal. I turned my thoughts to the particular. Do I light the candles before or after I say the prayer? I decided it didn’t matter for now. I would do the best I could. I lit the shamas, and with its flame, the other candle.
As I pronounced the Hebrew syllables, I thought of my father. Our family was not very observant, but on Chanukah, my father would put on the yarmulke he saved for important holidays and light the candles, his speaking voice taking on the hint of a song. When I got to the words “bazman hazeh” at the end of the second verse, I remembered how he drew out the last syllable, tapering off the phrase by dropping his pitch. I couldn’t manage to capture his inflection so I mainly spoke the prayer. Perhaps his father chanted it even more fully than my father was able, with the final cadence being the part my father carried with him all these years.
Then I thought about the two men on the street corner and felt grateful.
August 25th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Do you think paraffin is better than soy wax since it’s cheaper?
October 29th, 2009 at 10:39 am
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scented candles
http://candlecatalog.net Free Candle Catalog
they send out a catalog as well as free samples. I have found the candles as
good or better than Yankee Candles
your readers may want to try it, hey its free